For as long as males and females have walked the Earth sex has and continues to be a dynamic element and some would argue necessary component to our compatibility (setting aside the obvious requirement for our existence). Today sex no longer has that word attached to it . . . TABOO!
Today sex between friends or in a non- committed relationship, and sometimes the occasional one night stand is more common, what's the phrase . . . yes - Casual Sex!
Then we have the ever complicated situation - The “Booty Call!” This can get extremely complicated for some people; intelligently that is why someone came up with a set of RULES! And people, if you are going to be engaging in the most casual relationship of them all, SOME of you really need to read this! Just because there was the sexual revolution does not mean that women don’t get all emotional (or in some cases men). I have seen it happen, where one or the other or sometimes both get all CRAZY PANTS over the other and it turns into a cluster-fuck of emotional drama! So put your big girl panties or boxers and don’t come home crying if you get all butt hurt because you couldn’t follow the rules! You’re in the big leagues now, you’ve upgraded to a “Booty Call!” so please follow the ~ The 25 Rules of the Modern Booty Caller ~
1) Separate sex from love DUH!!!! Thank god this is #1 - should be the golden rule of booty calls!
2) You don't need to have anything in common. This is not a relationship, this is a booty call!
3) BOTH parties MUST be single or in open relationships. (Just because it’s a booty call doesn’t mean it’s not cheating!)
4) Exes whom you are currently friends with make ideal booty calls partners. However, if one of you broke the others heart booty call bumping should be off limits for least 24 months. (Approach with caution! Exes and booty call partners is where the emotional cluster-fucked up drama can start!)
5) Unless otherwise agreed on, after midnight on a school/work night is too late to text. On weekends, all outreach should be done at least 5 minutes before closing time. (A good rule - No calls before 9:30 pm and No calls after 1:30 am and DON'T call collect) I think you can make your own judgment call here.
6) Overnight stays need discussion ahead of time. Especially if you don't want a morning guest, otherwise it could get really awkward really fast!
7) The best place for your booty calls phone number to be stored is in your phone, meaning DON'T MEMORIZE IT! If at some point you want to delete that number and person, from your sex life - you won't have to means to call BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE IT MEMORIZED!
8) Your safest bet on communication for the booty call is via text. Texting (generally) helps the instigator(s) feel and appear (?) less awkward, desperate, and vulnerable. Let's face it, texting is ALWAYS the less formal way to go!
9) By using the texting and/caller ID method of communication the other party has the option not to answer. If the person receiving is an unwilling participant, he/she can "opt out" without hurting the others feelings. Just a piece of advise if the other person chooses to "opt out" more often than not it is probably a good idea to let go because your "booty call" is most likely getting a "booty call" from somewhere else!
10) It is common knowledge that booty calls are made after hours, some would say it would do the world well to remember that you may call sober and in the light of day! (Sober, absolutely! In the light of day - maybe, I think that might defeat the purpose of "booty call", I am not sure I would have a booty call over for a lunch time quickie)
11) Ideally (referring to # 9) booty callers should alternate who texts whom so that mutual interest is regularly re-established. If you have been the instigator more than 3 times without a response from the other side I would say it safe to assume your booty call would almost rather watch Snooki and JWOWW or Survivor than have sex with you and if you would rather be watching Teen Wolf or Greys Anatomy, then I think it's safe to say it's fine to stop texting them. (You can still keep texting if you don't want to take that small chance that the other person may still want to hook up, but you’re walking a fine line of stalker after about the 7th or 20th text . . . Just saying)
12) It might not be a good idea to call on your booty call more than once a week, two weeks is a safe bet, going more than that and you are risking emotional attachment (for all you clingers I am talking to you!).
13) It's totally fine to be tipsy (more fun), but if you're falling down drunk and not even able to perform the basic tasks of the booty call, just don't do it! Don't make the call/text, but who are we kidding OF COURSE YOU WILL! Although you run the risk of embarrassing yourself, not to mention saying something you'll regret, or acting like an ass, or worse yet throwing up in the middle of the act. Yet you will still make that call, why? Liquor and sex it never fails, and somehow the booty call always gets drunk dialed!
14) Playing like an adult doesn't always mean that both parties will act responsibly, so let's throw it out there - CONDOMS People! And if the girl tells you she's on birth control, that doesn't stop Sexual Transmitted Diseases! THINK!!!! Especially if you're having sex with more than one person!
15) Don't leave your personal items behind! This will cause confusion and give mixed messages!
16) You shouldn't fake it, ideally. But ladies let's be honest, sometimes that's just not happening. And if you're good, men, you won't know the difference!
17) If your not having fun, then by definition it is not a proper booty call ~ Amen!
18) Think uncomplicated, flexible - Never call your fuck buddy to say "hi", or make solid plans. This is not a relationship, and if you start treating it like one, it will become one, or complicated like one.
19) If your booty call is in the same social circle (not a good idea to begin with), and you are out together in a group, then either go home together, or go home alone.
20) Just because the sex is casual doesn't mean that topic of your romp is topic for casual conversation. In layman terms, be an adult and be discreet! If you are going to discuss it just make sure you are keeping your sex life within your closest circle of friends and they know when to keep their mouths shut!
21) Assume that you are NOT the only booty call in your booty calls partner's rotation. If this is not cool with you, then you need to have to a conversation with your booty call and let him/her know your desire for casual but monogamous sex, then negotiate from there. But don't be surprised if you're given the boot. I mean when have you ever known casual and monogamous to go together? Then add booty call to the mix! If you want a relationship or a commitment, a booty call is not the place to start looking.
22) Don't assume that the longer the duration of the booty call means relationship progression- This can be tricky and misleading!
23) You should always be honest with your booty call about expectations. Other booty call partners (in the regard that you have them), sexual health history, etc. However AND THIS IS IMPORTANT ~ ALWAYS keep unsolicited details about other partners and sexual experiences to yourself! When sex is involved it is important to keep your partner's safe, but If your partner(s) start asking details that you feel is none of their business and is not vital to the relationship needs be clear and honest about your feelings in why you are not forthcoming with the information. Trust me divulging details about past relationships can get messy and put both of you in conversations and situations that are just DRAMA! It is better to LET IT GO and JUST DON'T GO THERE! If they continue to ask you and/or cause issues you may seriously want to consider your options!
24) The above rules may be amended at any time if both parties are in obvious agreement.
25) The final rule that should be aired on the side of caution as it can be extremely fun or end a lifelong friendship. No one can really tell you what to do here, I personally believe it is all about maturity.
Some may be more inclined to get in a sexual relationship with one of their guy friends before an ex, some may go with the ex. I personally have done the friends with benefits myself.
IF you think you can handle it, then I say go for it, but again this can be a dangerous situation! If one of you falls for the other and the other does not, it can ruin a friendship, it can also cause uncomfortableness between two friends! On the other hand it can be a comfortable situation for two people looking to get some action but not wanting a relationship! But MAKE SURE THAT YOU SET GROUND RULES! The worst thing here is loosing one of your best friends! If one of you is immature in ANY way I DO NOT RECOMMEND this or ANY BOOTY CALL, you are just asking for drama!
No matter how casual the setting, whoever you are bumping booty's with you need to remember they are human and not a fucking-machine. If you can't play well with others you might be better off with a sex toy! So go hit the sheets, stay protected and have some fun! Oh and keep it DRAMA FREE!!
KatesMarie
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